It seems whenever I open a Christmas card these days, I have
the same heartfelt reaction: “Who are
these children?” There, smiling up at me are one to three darling, well
appointed, beautiful children whom I have
never met in my life.
See here’s the thing. If we went to high school together, or
college together, or you are childhood friends with my wife, or our mothers
play bridge together, there is a real possibility I have never laid eyes on
your children in real life. The last time I may have seen their likeness, if
ever, was on last year’s Christmas card. You see your kids every day, but I
don’t, and trust me they’ve changed a lot since last year.
So please, please, put your picture on the card somewhere.
Your picture. The Adults. It doesn’t have to be the big picture. You can be off
to the side. Or better yet, make the adults the big picture in the middle and
put the kids small on the back. Put your names in big letters with arrows drawn
to the person named. This would be a huge help with the kids (which one is
Breanne again? Are they in order by age or the order they are standing in this
picture?). I’m telling you, that would really make my holidays happy.
Here’s another hint: Use your names. Your full names. Half
the time I struggle to remember who “Jeff, Gina, Haley and Chloe” are.
Sometimes the last name isn’t on the card. Sometimes only the last name is on the card (Merry Christmas from The
Rowlands!). Come on, people! Sometimes the last name replaces a maiden name
that I once knew (how do we feel about cards saying “Seasons Greetings from the Martins nee Smith?”). The point is, full first and last names are the way
to go.
And sometimes, and this is happening more and more as I age
and the kids destroy my memory, I do know your first and last name but man, a
visual reminder would sure help. So, once again, please put a picture of the
adults on the card. Any other memory triggering clues will help. If you could
take your picture in the location where we met, that would be great. Ages would
help a lot, too.
To summarize, here’s an example of great Holiday Card:
Happy Holidays from
the Rowlands
Jeff Rowland (38)
Gina Rowland nee Smith
(36)
Haley (7)
Chloe (4)
(Plus a nice note) Hey Ol’ Buddy! Been missing you since our
moms quit playing bridge together after you moved from Tulsa!
Here’s something I almost forgot, and this harkens back to
my post on dogs. Some people insist on putting their dogs on their
holiday cards. Please, stop the madness. Combined with my points above, I have
literally gotten Christmas cards with a picture of a child and a dog, and I
can’t tell whose name is whose (Merry Christmas from Jack and Hunter!). So once
again, if you absolutely insist on putting a dog’s picture on your card… I
can’t even complete the sentence. Dear God, make it stop!
Since I’m on the subject, think you could do the same with
your Facebook avatar? Yes, we are “friends” but again a little visual reminder
would help me out a lot. Please make it a picture of you, from the relatively
recent past. I can’t always remember who you are from the picture of your kids,
or a Barrack Obama logo. And determining your identity from your baby pic is no
easier than from a picture of your baby. If you absolutely must include your
child or significant other in that less-than-one-square-inch of real estate,
well, I suppose I can live with that.
It’s just that easy! These simple steps can greatly improve
your Holiday Card/Facebook profile. Your mailing list will thank me.
Yours truly,
Robert (your buddy from KiddleDad blog and/or we went to
school together)
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