I Wish I Were Big

I wish I were big, so I could do taxes

Chiara only wants to eat off of porcelain bowls and drink from glass glasses anymore. The plastic stuff is too babyish, and she wants to be like a grown up. Cody has said “I wish I were a grown up, so I could make the rules.”

I’ll be honest, there are plenty of times when I wished the ageing process could be accelerated, ending the days of screaming matches over whether the pink toothpaste is suitable or only blue will do. And I have to admit, each milestone in parenting are nice to be past. I’m glad we don’t change diapers any more. I like sleeping through the night, and I like that the kids will sometimes, occasionally, sleep in past 6am.

I also must admit, being an adult has its privileges. I like sitting up for one more episode of West Wing if I want to. I like picking out my own outfit every day (from the pre-approved clothes which Andrea has selected for me). I like deciding what night is pizza night.

So, I’ve embraced this “I’m a grown-up” idea from the kids. That’s why I’m making Cody get a job or else he’s on the street. Chiara has to do the accounting and file our taxes. They’re about to get a cold dose of reality about “making the rules” – it turns out that as a grown up, you have to do the dishes even if you don’t want to. You have to use whatever darn toothpaste is around, and only occasionally get to throw a temper tantrum.

Personally, I long for nothing more than the days where the most stress I faced was an internal debate whether to play with Ninja Turtles or Star Wars figures. Where someone else took care of the big decisions and I could focus my attention on splashing in the tub (okay, with Andrea around it’s still kind of like that). Where I didn’t have to worry about making the mortgage payment and could just go to soccer practice. Would I trade all that for having to go to bed at 8:30? Heck, I want to go to bed at 8:30 most nights!

On the other hand, you want your kids to enjoy their short time as kids. For the children, life is fun. Chiara does math problems FOR FUN. She arranges her sock drawer FOR FUN. Cody’s hobbies aren’t quite as kooky as his sister’s, but let’s just say he’s not overly concerned with keeping his clothes clean if fun the alternative involves sidewalk chalk.

It’s just one more of the great ironies of parenting. You want your children to grow up. A little. And not too fast.

So the best advice I can give, but can’t always follow, is that life is much more fun when you accept that the kids are kids. Don’t own a beautiful house filled with delicate objects when you have a four-year-old boy. Don’t pretend he can handle himself on a golf course. Embrace the notion that blue toothpaste is better than pink toothpaste. Do your best to enjoy childhood, or adulthood, or whatever “hood” you may be in life.